Thursday, June 02, 2005
Recap
Results: A tie! Wranglers - 2 James Brown - 2
Well, James Brown (our nemesis), I know you like to think your poo don't stink, BUT IT DOOOOOOO! (It double doo-doo) So what's up now, Mr.& Mrs. think you're bad-arse, think you're big time, think you're undefeated, think you have a clever name for your team and clever little nicknames for all your teammates, think you can complain to the ref and whine and moan, Dorks!
I'll tell you what's up: THE WRANGLERS ARE WHAT'S UP!!!
Before last night the team known as James Brown (more like James Brown's Poo, if you ask me) had won every game and I think they thought the toga-clad, seemingly silly Wranglers were no match for their inflated kickball egos. But we were, and actually I think we could have won the game had only a few more little things gone our way, like that disastrous and unexpected double play by 3rd-base jeans-wearer guy. It took me like 5 minutes before I really believed what had just happened. But, anyway, we had some nice hits, some big catches, and some big time infield outs. Don't they know you can't bunt down the 3rd base line when there's a force out at 3rd?
And then of course there was the nagging and endless chorus from their bench of "You can't do that!" and "boo-hoo!" Here's a little excerpt from that red-headed Bizz-nizzy who complained yappily and incessantly from the sideline: Excuse me, could you get out of our baseline? Excuse me, could you not step over the pitching strip? Excuse me, could you not "crash the infield"? (whatever the F that means.) Excuse me, could you watch the diagonal? (again: WTF?)
And here's a little excerpt from me: Excuse me, if you don't shut your trap I'm gonna pop a cap in your "ain't I sassy" ass.
Seriously, I almost had to put her on the night train, if you know what I mean. (Actually, I don't even know what I mean....so how could you possibly know what I mean? That whole 'night train' business was just a gratuitous James Brown song-title reference, but no one even knows that song, so it's probably one of the most Super Bad things I've ever said and I apologize.)
Fortunately, we've got Timmy "Whalebone" Whalen live via satellite from the Wranglers Home Office on Roscoe Street to give us the lowdown on the toga-down. Here's Tim:
----------------------------------------------------------
Say it Loud! We're the Wranglers and we're proud! And James Brown does not "feel good."
This week the Rusty once again goes to a very deserving pair - our pitchers. They've got soul, and they're super bad. I'm speaking of course about Dan "Ricky" Martin and Courtney "Big Foot" Reid who combined to pitch a stellar 2-run ballgame against the supposed top team in the league. They also played excellent defense, as evidenced by Marty's "bean-out" of Honest Abe Tally Guy who was trying to score (the ref originally said safe, but the runner admitted he got hit). Big Foot Reid got up-ah on the scene like a pitch machine in the 5th as she shut down JB in the crucial bottom half of the inning to preserve the tie. "Ricky" Martin was livin' la vida loca all night as he repeatedly crossed the pitchers stripe en route to two scoreless innings. And boy did he hear about it from that broad in yellow. Both were great the whole game - like sugar and spice, they were feelin nice!
To say that our fearless Captain T-Dix deserves the All-Around Cowgirl award this week would be an understatement. In the bottom of the 5th with the game on the line, she made what can only be described as super-stupendous diving drizzled in chocolate and topped with a cherry catch. Big Bird (JB's Captain) sent a screamin' rocket of a kick toward Tara that would've surely scored the game winning run. Rather than back down, T-Dizzy got all shizzy on that ball, sacrificed her body, and hung on for a diving catch. Papa's got a brand new bag, and that bag is an out! To say Big Bird was stunned is yet another understatement. Truly the game-saving play of the day.
Back to you, T-shnizzle with a drizzle....
------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks, Tim. You're money in the bank. You know that, don't you?
As for a booby bungler award, well, I think this person shall remain nameless. Suffice it to say that the pain he surely feels today on his bruised bum is punishment enough. It could happen to any of us and the best of us, so let's try not to giggle as we replay the visual in our minds and the way his legs just came WHOOOOP! out from underneath him as he crashed to the dirt below.
And for the Boss Hog.... Oh, alas, the Boss Hog. I'm so used to a field devoid of anything close to a candidate that I forget to even look anymore. Any news from the Blue Jumpsuit committee?
Oh rats! You'll never guess what this ninny (aka Yours Truly) just did! I went out and got a piping hot and delicious Italian sub sandwich to bring back to work and eat for my lunch, but then when I got back to my desk I got so excited about writing the Wrangler Recap that I plum forgot to eat it! Well, needless to say, it is neither piping hot nor, I daresay, delicious anymore and the lettuce is soggy. STUPID! IDIOT! MORON! NUMBSKULL! MORAL RELATIVIST!
Well....bygones. Onto more pressing matters.... Since next week is Michelle "Mmmmm-Bop" Dooley's birthday, we're going with.....wait for it.....BIRTHDAY PARTY THEME!!!
So that means we need party hats, noisemakers, goodie bags, balloons, cupcakes, party games i.e. Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Twister, and of course birthday spankings. Now, we also need some form of party entertainer, like a Ryan Swett Mullet Clown, a stripper, or a rodeo monkey. Think about it over the weekend and let me know how you choose to embody the theme this week or what you will contribute as far as party gear. It's a 7:15 game, so we'll have plenty of time to get ourselves ready.
That's all for today, kids. And remember, stay classy, Wranglers.
T-Dix.....OUT!
p.s. did you know that those stupid James Brown people said they were "a little disappointed" with our toga theme, as they said they thought our other themes were much better and this one was lame. You wanna see lame, James Brown??!! I'll show you lame!!! Come on over here and I'll show you lame!! I'll wrap this toga right round your fat head and I'll jab these safety pins in your eyes!!! Then we'll see who's lame!!!!
Well, James Brown (our nemesis), I know you like to think your poo don't stink, BUT IT DOOOOOOO! (It double doo-doo) So what's up now, Mr.& Mrs. think you're bad-arse, think you're big time, think you're undefeated, think you have a clever name for your team and clever little nicknames for all your teammates, think you can complain to the ref and whine and moan, Dorks!
I'll tell you what's up: THE WRANGLERS ARE WHAT'S UP!!!
Before last night the team known as James Brown (more like James Brown's Poo, if you ask me) had won every game and I think they thought the toga-clad, seemingly silly Wranglers were no match for their inflated kickball egos. But we were, and actually I think we could have won the game had only a few more little things gone our way, like that disastrous and unexpected double play by 3rd-base jeans-wearer guy. It took me like 5 minutes before I really believed what had just happened. But, anyway, we had some nice hits, some big catches, and some big time infield outs. Don't they know you can't bunt down the 3rd base line when there's a force out at 3rd?
And then of course there was the nagging and endless chorus from their bench of "You can't do that!" and "boo-hoo!" Here's a little excerpt from that red-headed Bizz-nizzy who complained yappily and incessantly from the sideline: Excuse me, could you get out of our baseline? Excuse me, could you not step over the pitching strip? Excuse me, could you not "crash the infield"? (whatever the F that means.) Excuse me, could you watch the diagonal? (again: WTF?)
And here's a little excerpt from me: Excuse me, if you don't shut your trap I'm gonna pop a cap in your "ain't I sassy" ass.
Seriously, I almost had to put her on the night train, if you know what I mean. (Actually, I don't even know what I mean....so how could you possibly know what I mean? That whole 'night train' business was just a gratuitous James Brown song-title reference, but no one even knows that song, so it's probably one of the most Super Bad things I've ever said and I apologize.)
Fortunately, we've got Timmy "Whalebone" Whalen live via satellite from the Wranglers Home Office on Roscoe Street to give us the lowdown on the toga-down. Here's Tim:
----------------------------------------------------------
Say it Loud! We're the Wranglers and we're proud! And James Brown does not "feel good."
This week the Rusty once again goes to a very deserving pair - our pitchers. They've got soul, and they're super bad. I'm speaking of course about Dan "Ricky" Martin and Courtney "Big Foot" Reid who combined to pitch a stellar 2-run ballgame against the supposed top team in the league. They also played excellent defense, as evidenced by Marty's "bean-out" of Honest Abe Tally Guy who was trying to score (the ref originally said safe, but the runner admitted he got hit). Big Foot Reid got up-ah on the scene like a pitch machine in the 5th as she shut down JB in the crucial bottom half of the inning to preserve the tie. "Ricky" Martin was livin' la vida loca all night as he repeatedly crossed the pitchers stripe en route to two scoreless innings. And boy did he hear about it from that broad in yellow. Both were great the whole game - like sugar and spice, they were feelin nice!
To say that our fearless Captain T-Dix deserves the All-Around Cowgirl award this week would be an understatement. In the bottom of the 5th with the game on the line, she made what can only be described as super-stupendous diving drizzled in chocolate and topped with a cherry catch. Big Bird (JB's Captain) sent a screamin' rocket of a kick toward Tara that would've surely scored the game winning run. Rather than back down, T-Dizzy got all shizzy on that ball, sacrificed her body, and hung on for a diving catch. Papa's got a brand new bag, and that bag is an out! To say Big Bird was stunned is yet another understatement. Truly the game-saving play of the day.
Back to you, T-shnizzle with a drizzle....
------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks, Tim. You're money in the bank. You know that, don't you?
As for a booby bungler award, well, I think this person shall remain nameless. Suffice it to say that the pain he surely feels today on his bruised bum is punishment enough. It could happen to any of us and the best of us, so let's try not to giggle as we replay the visual in our minds and the way his legs just came WHOOOOP! out from underneath him as he crashed to the dirt below.
And for the Boss Hog.... Oh, alas, the Boss Hog. I'm so used to a field devoid of anything close to a candidate that I forget to even look anymore. Any news from the Blue Jumpsuit committee?
Oh rats! You'll never guess what this ninny (aka Yours Truly) just did! I went out and got a piping hot and delicious Italian sub sandwich to bring back to work and eat for my lunch, but then when I got back to my desk I got so excited about writing the Wrangler Recap that I plum forgot to eat it! Well, needless to say, it is neither piping hot nor, I daresay, delicious anymore and the lettuce is soggy. STUPID! IDIOT! MORON! NUMBSKULL! MORAL RELATIVIST!
Well....bygones. Onto more pressing matters.... Since next week is Michelle "Mmmmm-Bop" Dooley's birthday, we're going with.....wait for it.....BIRTHDAY PARTY THEME!!!
So that means we need party hats, noisemakers, goodie bags, balloons, cupcakes, party games i.e. Pin the Tail on the Donkey and Twister, and of course birthday spankings. Now, we also need some form of party entertainer, like a Ryan Swett Mullet Clown, a stripper, or a rodeo monkey. Think about it over the weekend and let me know how you choose to embody the theme this week or what you will contribute as far as party gear. It's a 7:15 game, so we'll have plenty of time to get ourselves ready.
That's all for today, kids. And remember, stay classy, Wranglers.
T-Dix.....OUT!
p.s. did you know that those stupid James Brown people said they were "a little disappointed" with our toga theme, as they said they thought our other themes were much better and this one was lame. You wanna see lame, James Brown??!! I'll show you lame!!! Come on over here and I'll show you lame!! I'll wrap this toga right round your fat head and I'll jab these safety pins in your eyes!!! Then we'll see who's lame!!!!
